Submission

It s that moment when I ask myself why do I do it again? Why I miss it and why I need it that much?  why I am there, helpless and fear bounding my heart? Why am I craving that feeling that much? Why do I need it, and what am I trying to prove? why now? Is it an illusion or just a pure pleasure?

I have been gay since I was born, Living the gay life style for 10 years.. I consider myself tolerant and I believe that we are free in our bodies and life… after I lived a long relationship ended two years ago, a revolution started inside my heart… I was always looking for a belonging and a real identity of who I am. We live in a society where labels put us in prison … what label suits me more and who am I really?  We are known for recreating ourselves choosing who we want to be … gay, manly, feminine, drag, top, bottom slave master and million other adjectives that are ready to mark us…

It was that day in the after noon , I uploaded a pic of me on my facebook with a black collar, a simple artistic pic that I wanted to show in  some dark sides but I never knew that it will be enough to make a change in my life to break another taboos inside me…

Are you a slave ? a question from an unknown fake profile was enough to open the door for me to a new life style that I m discovering and enjoying … 3 months just passed for me discovering the world of BDSM…

Here I will share with you my short experience

It looked dark and scary… but it ended up being colorful and full of passion it s the war of the mind over the body… it s the idea of being helpless giving up the power over myself, to give the decision to a person that I trust. It s not as people think, I never felt weakness, I m strong enough to admit my desire and let go of the control… it s a way to prove myself and enjoy being dominated…it s all in the eye of the dominant who looks passionately at my naked body kneeling and ready in front of his will… putting his trust in my ability to execute his tasks… he s like an artist waiting to play the way he wants… he has the freedom over my mind and my body… it s that look that voice which bound me before the ropes that steal my physical freedom to unchain my imagination toward a world full of desire and gentile sin I might be considered as a pervert now but I never care about what people think…

In the darkness I fear the silence letting my mind anticipate the next move it s the time where a hard leather riding crop has the same impact of a soft kiss… it s the time where the adrenaline get high in my body where gentile pain excites me more. It s the game of breaking the walls breaking the rules creating our own physical revolution… it s the time where I fear the man who excites me the most… it s when I forget his gentile side and experiment his dominant side that makes me tremble in desire…

To people who accuse the act of being violent I say it s the place where we play around limits, it s a reciprocal mutual exchange it s a all about learning where to stop, it s an experiment between the submissive and the dominant it s where  he experiments the potential of his slave that are on a certain level, where playing less is boring and playing more will make it an abuse… But in all cases fear is a part of the game. You can t dance without music or all your steps will be useless… fear  is the spice of the game, the fire that heat up of the blood running through my veins…and pain is the flame burning inside my heart screaming out more pleasure…   Pain  plays a role of physical moral and sexual excitement… it s that feeling where i fear the impact but i give freely my body. It s when I am sore the day after looking at the marks with a smile remembering who did that to me. And his signature left on my body reminds me that he owned me. He owned, my excitement, my thoughts my fear and my pain… I love the power of the ropes, the voice of the crop, the hot drops of wax running over my skin the dreams and the peaceful war.

I want say thank you for anonymous message who opened to me doors toward my inner self and let me discover a new perspective that I always felt but never had the courage to live it … I might live other experience or go into other perspective or  try other roles (because why not) but for now I can admit fearlessly that I am a ((slave)) a label that has many degrading meanings but for me it s an unleashed inner power that turned me into a strong boy proud to admit his desire and enjoy them… yes sir I am a slave eager to execute my duties and to serve my master feeling enjoying and pushing me the way he wants… A word that connect me  to his power and his world of fantasies. a word that makes me owned…

I ll be glad to share with you with my upcoming blogs my experience in this world and I ll try to fight the stigmas about the world of fetish and get deeply in the world of desires…

Stay tuned until then enjoy life and be safe…

Photo credits:

instagram.com/damottafabio

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